Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Good Lord, I'm still here

3:30AM --------------
Another day, another .... I can't say that anymore. It's JUST another day. A day of doing nothing really but taking the dog out, sitting here typing on this blog, creating another couple of teacher resources for my teacher shops at TN and TPT and TL and TW, not sleeping, reading my emails, bidding my time, just watching another day go by. I'm going back to bed........

8:30AM---------------
Got up, checked my BP & BS both seem fine. Took my meds, read my emails, created a couple more "freebies" for my teacher shops, ate a little breakfast, read my online newspaper, piddle on a few things, fed the cats and dog, 'catnapped' a bit.

10:30AM --------------
Took the dog out for his morning constitutional, set on the front porch just rocking and enjoying the breeze - not to hot, not to cool, came in watched a little TV, did a BUNCH of nothing, got back on this site, checked my emails again, briefly glanced at Facebook, set bored, doing what I seem to always do and that is just think, think, think, went back outside to sit in swing and do more thinking. Life is just BORING.

11:30AM --------------
Came back in and sat done here to type a little more. You do realize I am doing this one handed. I do just what I have too. I am still just hobbling around, but I am going to vacuum the carpet, get ready for my g-daughter to spend the night again since her mom is sick and her dad kept her the last two nights. Basically it means I have to more out of our bed because she and my wife take over our bed. Our g-d may be only 5 1/2 but she gets what she wants, when she wants it - according to my wife.

I am not my g-daughter's favorite but when my wife is gone or at he other jobs I become my g-d favorite, I fixed her supper the other night, planned a few games, watched a little TV until it just got LATE and my g-d wanted her mawmaw, then I was no longer her fav.

My wife will pick her up from school and take her to orchestra so she can show off her violin skills.

I wish I could type this normally so it would or could go faster.

5:02PM --------------
I wish, I wish, I wish, I know it does no good but I can at least wish I would get better, that the Lord could make me whole again, that I could get back to what I used to do....but that's not happening. I do go walk at Wal*Mart almost every day and I know that is helping. I do dream of doing things I used to and I see me getting better at them.

I do know that in the future I will look back at this medical problem and think 'you know, I knew it would..." and it will be better. Today IS better than yesterday and this week IS better than last week, a month ago, last year...well maybe not last year but I am coming back. I am getting older and I do dream of getting to my dad's age. I may not make it but I can try. I'm 63 and he made it to 92. That's a lon-n-n-g ways away and I don't want to be 'crippled' the rest of my life. If I'm going to be, just take me now. Otherwise, let me get better and better each day.

Lord, THANK YOU for giving me another day just so I can see myself with your help get better and better.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Friend,
    I am sorry for your troubles...I read all your blog posts and you are really going through alot. Your burdens are heavy my friend but guess what you are still here! So what can you do to improve your mental outlook? Ok teacher I have a lesson for you, It will be a life lesson. Lesson number one: Can you wake up in the morning and have a game plan! Maybe tell yourself ( ok I am going to accomplish a few things today and I will feel good about that) Step one: Formulate your day, step two: action: get dressed and ready for the day and move in the right direction Remember you have the control of allowing your circumstances to bring you sadness and despair or you can embrace the day the Lord has given. You choice friend!

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