What does it take

What does it take for anyone to comment here just to let me know I'm alive?

I have a doctor's appointment in a couple of hours about my pending knee surgery. I really am starting to again have second/third/so on feelings about this. I want to walk normal. You never really think about walking until you can't. I have and am thinking about how I can cure my drop-foot. My knee really DOES NOT hurt. I tell my wife, do I just start lying to my doctors or do I tell the truth?

I really don't know, but I do know, hobbling around is just not the way to go. I can't sub teach, I can't coach, I can't enjoy church, I can't enjoy my granddaughter. This mini-stock has really shut down what I would normally do. I don't want this life.

What does it take for anyone to comment here just to let me know I'm alive? Do I need to just die and be done with all this? Yes or no?

- - - - - - -
Just came back from orthopedics and doctor there who said the knee replacement surgery would not do what I need. He said I would be VERY  disappointed in the results due to what I want. He suggested me spending time with the X-Strap and seeing if that helps. He said I have arthritis in both knees but since they are in no pain yet so we need to try a different route. He felt the problem is more the drop-foot and he does not want to fix that due to the results and I really would not be happy with it at all.

My frame of mind would be better if I could solve that one problem first and get back to subbing. I know I've lost everything else but please give one thing back - P-L-E-A-S-E !?!