Saturday, August 31, 2013

Saturday is time, oh wait, everyday is off right now....


I have to stop thinking that Saturday is my only off time because it isn’t. I have been outside cutting shelves for my back book room/ classroom/ whatever it will be called. It has been slow as all get out but it is getting done. My wife is out on the back porch replanting her plants.

Yesterday I had both left arm PT and leg PT. The arm lady said I need to get the muscles back working, use them all the time I need something done – button buttons – I wear pullovers but my wife wore a button up PJ shirt to bed and I unbutton all those buttons this morning - clean the table, use it to type which I am doing right now. It has been slow and I am making a ton of mistakes but I can see more work coming out of that hand right now.

My leg is getting better and I tend to walk around without a cane when I can. All of this is getting better but I just have to do things different than before. Emailing and typing on here is slow but I am getting stronger. I just need to think more about what I need to get do so that I can get back to my students. They need me – I hope.

I take my BP every morning before anything, I take my BS before I have breakfast – which the needle stick is getting old – but I need to put it in an excel sheet for my doctor. I weigh myself each morning but the weight has not changed much – it fluctuates up and down about three pounds no matter what my wife fixes or doesn’t fix.

I look over the excel sheet and things have been the same for the past month.  The numbers just have not changed – that’s good and bad – good in the sence that I am at my normal weight and that won’t change and my BP and BS is very stable but bad because I want all of it to come down somewhat.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Friday rambling


I finally got an appointment to talk to the doctor who is going to do my knee surgery so that is a good thing. I also did get an appointment to start doing PT for my left hand. All this is good news for the future even though I know it will be a long time going before I am back in the swing of things. I just don’t want to be hobbled up anymore.

Yesterday we went to the country with our grandsons and my life out there was miserable because I had to sit around and watch my grandson cut grass – my job – and I was bored out of my – lets just say, I was BORED!

We went by the plumbing place to pick up the last item we need so that the plumber can come by and do his thing. I cannot wait until a day gets here that I don’t have to get up and let some person in at 7:30 in the morning. I want to post photos so people will know hat has been done.

It star at that point our bathroom remodel will be done. Eight weeks and it is useable as a small two week four feet remodel and grew into an 8 week 8 feet remodel. It went from a small normal shower to a huge walk in tiled shower with skylight, rain head, hand held, two bench, wet and draw shower with no glass door. It was NOT supposed to be this big or expensive but it just turned out this way. However, we love it.

I made a jump drive for a newbie teacher here in Louisiana of everything I have on my own jump drive. I have emailed her and told her I would tell her how to use everything if she can’t figure a lesson out. I don’t mind giving my things away. Heck, what’s mine is yours I always say. Teachers of Louisiana history have to share because there are just not enough resources. I have the #1 ranked website on Google for Louisiana lesson plans and resources at www.louisiana101.com. I am happy that someone can use items located there. I would just love to have even more sharing.

Got to go get ready. I have double PT in a bit. Wish me well.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Rather be teaching!

The tile guy pretty much finished his work in our remodeled bathroom today. The electrical guy is coming this afternoon to finish his part.  The tile guy will be back tomorrow to look at his work, do any last minute details and be finished. The plumber will be in to do his last minute things on Thursday. By Friday I SHOULD have a completed bathroom remodel after 8 weeks of tear-out and remodeling. By Saturday I should be able to use my “new” bathroom. However, there are still small items I need to do- such as get new towels, sweep, clean, and touch up items that were missed.

All this while still having PT three days a week. I have PT for my leg and now PT for my left hand. However, I still use both and I am painting, cutting out items, and nailing items together. I may be a little slow but I am getting it done. I am not going to let this stroke slow me down very much – or at least a lot. I just can’t stand to go slow.

My oldest grandson is here to help out but he is a high school grad so “he knows better than me”. Kids to not do what they are told. They think they know better. I need the grass cut but he wants to use the riding mower instead of using the push mower around the edges first. He does things backwards then he has to go back and redo things. I love him but he needs to learn that his old grandpaw does know better. My brain does still work!

I have painted the wall in the back bedroom – it has been SLOW but it has been done. Now I can start assembling shelves to put up back there. It may be slow but at least it will get done. My brain wants to go faster but the body just won’t let me. It makes me very sad. The nurse in PT tells me that I am getting better each time I go but I think she has to say that.

I see myself having to s-l-o-w down and I don’t like it. I think about my students that someone else is teaching and I don’t like that either! I hate this. I am a teacher FIRST and should be in the classroom – not just setting here one figure typing on my laptop!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

help from a pre-k kid


Getting to play with my 4 year old grand-daughter is fun. She has spent the past couple of days “helping” me get in and out of the car. I play up the need for her help and she just eats it up. She opens the side van door, lifts my legs, helps me help her get into her car seat, sits with me quietly at church, holds my hand as I “hobble” along outside – of course she walks to fast for me but that’s okay.

The only problem this morning was that she had to get maw-maw to go with her to the donut store instead of going with me. She pretty much took care of everything else today. Now that she has been picked up and is gone I can get back to doing for myself. She is, however, a fairly reliant pre-k student. I love her.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Talking to myself


Why do I go on living? God has taken away my living due to the “stroke’ and school has taken away my reason for getting up every morning. They have taken away my reason for doing the yearbook, I am not allowed to teach my own classes, and I can’t get out to cut the grass, work on my own house, and do the things I have always done. Now I can’t even sleep at night because my brain keeps me awake thinking about what I can’t do.

I can’t really take a shower without help, I can’t put on clothes without help, I can’t eat what I want, when I want without my wife picking it out for me. I am told I have to eat healthy, eat this that and what I really don’t want. I am down to one meal a day now. We don’t go out to eat much anymore. I really can’t drive much. I am told I am too slow so my wife gets upset most of the time.

During the day I sit and watch TV so feel like I am rotting away. My brain still works and wants to do but my body has been taken away for now. Physical therapy has become a drag. I do it because I know I need to but I don’t see any real results.

Over the years I have been able to get up and go whenever and wherever I wanted. I ate what I wanted, watched what I wanted, done what I wanted. Suddenly have to slow down – and smell the roses, in effect. I am not good at slowing down. This will be an impossible year for me it seems.

What have I lost so far:

·       Teaching

·       Doing the Yearbook

·       Walking around normally

·       The use of my left arm

·       Sleeping well at night

·       Taking a shower by myself

·       Drying off for the most part

·       Putting my clothes on by myself

·       Putting my socks on by myself

·       Getting paid normally

·       Cutting grass

·       Painting the walls

·       Building book cases

·       Eating

 

What I have left for now:

·       My brain functions

·       My right arm and hand (I am typing this at 4AM)

·       My websites

·       My sight and ability to read the paper every day online

·       The ability to go to the bathroom nearly normally

·       Walking around (albeit with a cane for now)

·       Shaving

·       Getting dressed with some fancy work by myself

·       Getting to and going through physical therapy

·       Putting my socks and shoes on by myself sort of

·       Using the computer somewhat

·       Waiting on doctor’s calls about knee replacement

·       Working on hand therapy for now

·       Homeschooling my grandson

·       Making these lists

·       Weighing the goods and the bads on these lists

 Okay, maybe things are as bad as they seem for now. I have been told by the therapist that things will get better just not at the snap of a finger. I just have to work at it. Don’t just sit and let death catch up to me. The school has saved me a place for next year, I just have to get back there. Things ARE better than they were three weeks ago. A lot better but my brain still wants things done NOW!

I know at some point I will look back at this post and “man I was at a low point back then”. And Lord, “I am sorry for doubting you. I do have and did have faith but you have to and had to carry me for a while.”

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

3 days in the hospital


It has been a very tuff three days as I got sent to the hospital for what I thought was a mini stroke. After all the tests, sleepless nights, etc., I found out this morning it was only hypertension brought on by a shot for my knee. The shot caused my high blood pressure to shoot through the roof. It then caused all the other problems.  All my tests came back normal with the exception of the BP. I am now off from school for the year and will have a knee replacement. Keep me in your prayers please.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

five days now


I have always been the go getter and no one has ever seen me slow down, so now no one is even stopping to listen to me. No one.

Most people including my wife, has not slowed down enough to really hear that “I have had a mini stroke”. She taught harp classes all week then work an expo for my son and daughter all day Saturday then our daughter in law and grand-daughter came over last night and stayed till after 10pm. Finally I went to bed, then she slept late and headed to church without really asking me why I wasn’t going. I have always gone.

My mini stroke was five days ago and I have been making it through the days alone. My clothes are hard to put on, real hard; my shoes are almost impossible; I have stopped eating because I know what the end results will be – no pun intended; and have not been outside in five days which is killing me.

Maybe I will get to really talk to her this afternoon. I need to go to the doctor tomorrow, to go to the physical therapist tomorrow, and go by school and dropped off my keys – which wife still thinks I am going back next Monday. At least the principal has heard me even though she still wants me there, but there isn't a chace for me - really!

Saturday, August 3, 2013

mini stroke


It has been a tuff several days. Since Wednesday I have been dealing with a minor stoke and my thoughts have been on this school year, what can I still do, what will happen to me if I can’t teach, etc. etc. I am getting better but I know that doing yearbook is out of the question, pulling duty is out of the question, typing two hand is out of the question. But my brain still works, I know I am getting better as the days go by, I have everything planned out for this year, and I have waited on getting these students for two years now.

Do I RETIRE.  or do I go on as long as I can. The Lord is telling me to on. but is he going to help me? I am teaching at a church school and I am a good Christian, and I have recently made a church retreat. I have emailed the principal to tell her that I will teach for less money. I has never been about the money, ever. It has been about the teaching. What do I do now?

If I could teach without the duty, teach without the yearbook (which will kill me), teach without the other non-teaching items, I what to keep teaching. Teaching is all about the kids do doing all the work. I have everything planned out for the year, and my brain still works really well. So what do I do?

Answers please, I only have a week to go......